All the world's a stage

[warded to females that consider Wendy a friend]

So it's been entirely too long since I've had a night in (or out, really) with all of my girlfriends. So, you are all invited here on Friday evening for food and wine and possibly manicures and pedicures and lots of girl talk. Heidi will be at her dad's, and I'm going to tell Harry to find some boys to play with, so you should all be here around six or so.

I'm going to provide a few things to eat, but PLEASE bring something, if there is something you'd especially like to have, and there will be wine from my Nana's vineyard, and sparkling juices for those of you who can't/don't drink.

Please come ready for girl talk and laughter and just some time amongst grown women who love you.

This weekend has been really sort of wonderful. The egg hunt yesterday went really, really well. So many children, so much laughter, so much food. I wanted to take them all home and adopt them.

[warded to friends]

Today was church with Mum and Stephen and Meggie and Frankie and Heidi, then we had dinner there. And in a little while we're going to the Burrow for dessert with the Weasleys. And by we I do mean Harry and I and Heidi. I'm a little nervous about meeting the whole family at once, but Molly was kindness itself when Harry was in hospital, and I think that Heidi will like the Burrow.

[warded private]

This weekend was wonderful. I don't remember being so relaxed in a long, long time. This weekend was wonderful. I missed Heidi terribly, but that just made coming home and getting her from school that much better. Apparently knowing your mummy is somewhere other than home makes you really miss her, so much so that you run to her as soon as you see her and give her the biggest hug in the history of hugs.

My God, how I love that little girl. So much so that I think that my heart needs to grow a few more sizes just to hold it all.

Right, so. Back to business. I MUST write this week. I've been so caught up in Harry and fall falling in love that I sort of just let it fall by the wayside. So tomorrow I will write all day, with the necessary breaks to get Heidi to school and then pick her up. Also, writing on Thursday. Friday, a meeting with Chris about Heidi's schedule. It's working for me, but he said something to me last week about needing to have a bit more leeway in terms of his weekends. I can understand that; he's a musician, and the times when he can play most and have larger audiences are during the weekend.

I can't deny him his dream. He wouldn't deny me mine if I really wanted to act again.

Which I think I want to do. I miss it, so much. I manage to forget that I miss it, especially when I'm writing, but I do miss it.

[end ward]

This weekend was so perfectly lovely. It was restful and peaceful and I feel as if I can really dig into the book again. It doesn't have a title yet, and it really will need one. I mean, obviously. What child wants to read a book called Untitled: A Children's Book? I wouldn't.

Today there was a trip to the zoo. A brief one, but a certain birthday person requested it, and so that is what happened.

No, the birthday person wasn't Poppet. Hers was last month.

( questionnaire! )

That was fun.

Oh, good Merlin, what a day. Dogs, children, and water definitely don't mix well.

[Megan, Luna, Hermione]

I can't even begin to describe today. The first half was normal. Completely normal. Except for where I got up before dawn with Harry because there was a fire and he was needed to go look at it. I got Heidi from school and we came home to two dogs who had decided to investigate the only mud puddle that my little garden held. Sam was COVERED, Lizzie just a little.

So we decided that we couldn't send the dogs home with Harry while they were dirty. Lizzie's bath was fine; she waited until we got back outside to shake off the water I didn't completely get from her food. But Sam. Oh, Sam. He decided to wait until he was in the hall outside the bathroom to shake off the mudwater. And then he got into the tub, let me get him wet and sudsed, and then jumped out to try to escape.

Heidi, bless her, had the GENIUS idea to jump into the tub. He followed. There followed splashing and soap suds ALL OVER MY BATHROOM. Finally, I got dog and child rinsed, when Sam heard Harry coming up the stairs and decided he had to greet him. That damned dog met Harry in the hall, stopped to shake off water, and then jumped on Harry.

I'm laughing at it now, but oh my God I was so furious then. I had Harry take Heidi and the dogs to the park for a little while so I could clear up. By clear up I mean using my wand in the way it was meant to be used for household charms. Then I finished dinner and left it to keep warm, and drank two glasses of wine in the living room before they got home.

I have never, ever been so happy in my entire LIFE. I just wanted you three to know that.

Luna, are you still coming for dinner tomorrow night? Is there any sort of dessert you would like?

[end ward]

[warded private]

I almost wish he had just left it at "I'm working tonight", and left it at that. Now I'm worried, because it seems that when someone can't tell you what they're doing, it's either illegal or dangerous. Or a secret. So now I worry.

I'm glad Mum suggested getting a gift for Heidi to give to Katy for Mothering Sunday. It was a lovely little heart pendant, and she was wearing it when Harry and I got Heidi on Sunday. Harry got Heidi flowers to give to me, and Mum and Stephen got me a beautiful bracelet with both Heidi and my birthstones in it. Harry couldn't go to dinner with us in Edinburgh, as he was invited to the Weasley's for dinner. I can't even describe how highly I think of Molly Weasley for really taking Harry in and giving him a taste of a mother's love. I hope that she had heaps and heaps of flowers and gifts, just for that. It's a priceless gift to give any child.

I'm a bit stalled on the book. I know where it needs to go and what has to happen to get there, but the words aren't coming as easily as they were before. So I write what I can and I try to write for at least two hours a day and I will hope that it all comes back easily once more, very soon.

I hate worrying. It's boring and it's pointless and I can't help myself. I almost want to pray, but I wouldn't know who to pray to or how to even do it. Maybe Heidi and I will go to Mum's for dinner.

[end ward]

I sort of want bacon and I'm not entirely certain why. And mashed potatoes.

Yesterday was completely and absolutely wonderful. I had Poppet all day, and we spent the day with Harry and with my Mum and stepfather. Then Poppet and I went to see my dad, and he had a big, wonderful dinner prepared. Well, I say prepared, but I do mean a love fancy takeaway from a posh place in Edinburgh.

And for those of you wondering, yes, I was very cosy at the pub in Dublin where the Prophet took their picture. It was quite nice and possibly a place I'll go back to.

It's so hard to believe that three years ago today, at 3.32 in the afternoon if we are precise, I gave birth to the child who I firmly believe to be the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, and tiring child in the history of humanity. She wasn't planned, but she was the best surprise I could have ever received, and the most amazing thing I have ever made.

Happy birthday, poppet. You can't read this, but perhaps someday you will. And you'll know that I've loved you since the day I found out I was going to have you.

Merlin, I need to stop writing now. I've got something in my eye that is causing tears. How embarrassing.

[warded to Hermione]

In all the excitement of birthdays and new boyfriends, I'm afraid that I've rather dropped off the face of the earth. Would you like to have lunch one day this week? My treat!

[end ward]

[warded to Harry]

THANK YOU for the flowers. They are GORGEOUS and I adore them. By the way, you yourself are pretty brilliant. I've never gotten a present for someone else's birthday; it was a wonderful surprise.

[end ward]

[Warded to Megan and Eddie]

Just a reminder that Heidi's birthday party is tomorrow afternoon. We'll be eating around three or four, but everyone seems to be coming at around two or so.

[end ward]

[Warded to Harry]

Remember, Mum, Stephen and Dad will be there around one or so, and everyone else will be here about two. I'm excited and nervous for you to meet them. Thank you for today, too. I'd missed you this week.

[end ward]

Even when one is (very nearly) three years old, a birthday party for just family is a very Big Deal. Today I bought the food, a final present and all of those last minute things that can be done the day before. Tomorrow will be the party, and then Monday I will spend the morning baking cupcakes and icing them to take to school.

My God, I can't even believe that three years ago, I didn't actually have my child in my life. I was still waiting to hold her for the first time. I can't, and don't want to, imagine my life without her.

[warded to Harry]

Thanks for dinner last night. This morning after breakfast Heidi asked if we were going to go see you again. I told her soon.

How is your day?
[end ward]

[warded to Meg]

Are you doing all right? I think I'm ready for another shopping trip.

[end ward]

I'm allowed to mention this now, which makes me extremely happy. I'm in the middle of my next book. I'm quite excited because what started as another one in the series is actually turning into a chapter book for more advance readers. This one will, quite naturally, take me a bit longer to write and have published than the others.

I also was forced to miss the event at Flourish and Blott's, but they've been kind enough to host a second one. This one is planned for April, and the exact date will be announced in a few weeks once more authors have been confirmed.

[warded private]

I am slowly becoming used to Heidi being gone on the weekends and during the afternoons. It means that I'm able to write more, and that appointments I need to make don't need to be made on Fridays or if Mum can spare a day.

Speaking of writing, this book keeps growing. It's becoming an actual novel, with characters that are developing personalities and a plot that sends out little tendrils that expand the original moral tale. It's really quite entertaining and I'm considering buying a computer in order to store files and to keep a more legible copy of the transcript. It's stupid, really, how unruly my hand becomes after a few hours of scribbling.

I don't even know if this will be published. It would be wonderful if it were.

Bernard has presented me with several proposals for some new dramas on the WWN. It would be wonderful to act again, even if it wouldn't be exactly what I dreamed of when I was younger. Recording could be done during the afternoons, so I would still be home for Heidi during the mornings, and on Mondays I could be in there all day. It's too tempting by half.

And I can't stop smiling. Thursday evening was wonderful. I don't recall ever laughing so much, or talking so much. Today we had coffee and ended up roaming around London. It was aimless and hilarious and perfectly lovely.

[end ward]

[warded to harry]

Thank you for today. It was wonderful. You're wonderful. I'll see you on Tuesday.

[end ward]

Somehow I always manage to forget how I enjoy preserving my thoughts in this book. I've preserved a few more, and now will settle in to this Sunday evening with tea and a book. What has everyone else got planned for this evening?

[warded to eddie carmichael]

I realised when I was chatting with Megan today that I am overdue to give you an apology. I said some really horrible things about you just after you and Meg broke up, and I am so, so sorry about them. Regardless of any intentions I had in trying to make her feel better, I shouldn't have even thought them, let alone speak them. I'm sorry.

If you'll forgive me, I'd love to have you and Meg over for dinner one night this week. Heidi will love to see you again, I know it.

[end ward]

So, even at 23 there are ways in which you still grow up, and learn to be a grown up. In this case, it's humbling.

I have needed this weekend, in so many ways. I think that on Friday I'll be able to return to my new normal without feeling like my world is ending for a few days.

[warded to harry]

Thank you again for the tea and the things for Heidi. She adores the penguin and hasn't let it out of her sight since she got it. She has also named it Ree. Guess why.

When do you want to reschedule our dinner?

[end ward]

[warded to megan]

Heidi is doing much better now. I brought her home last night about ten or so, and she's been sleeping ever since. I didn't sleep much last night, I couldn't stop myself from constantly making sure she was all right. We decided to not send her to Chris's this weekend, so she can get as much rest as possible.

I might go try to get an hour or so of sleep before she wakes up.

added ten minutes later:

Nope, that didn't work. She's up and she wants to cuddle. I guess it's the Wiggles for me, today.

[end ward]

I was supposed to be at the book signing and reading at Flourish and Blotts today, but due to my daughter's illness, I won't be. I was really looking forward to it, too.

[warded to harry]

I'm really very sorry, but we need to postpone our dinner until another night. Heidi's caught that horrible 'flu going around and I really need to stay with her. She usually sleeps about eight, but she keeps coughing and it's horrible and she obviously can't sleep so I'm up with her.

I may take her to St Mungo's in the morning.

I'm really sorry.

[end ward]

[warded to megan]

I've had to postpone my date dinner with Harry. Heidi's got that horrid bug, and she has a fever and she's coughing so much I'm afraid she's going to be sick. I'm taking her to St Mungo's tomorrow.

[end ward]

There is nothing worse than my child being sick.

I've been hearing a lot about the charity auction this week, and there are a few gossip columnists calling those of us who have chosen to not participate out, undoubtedly feeling that by doing so, we would change our minds.

I'm not changing my mind.

When I was a child, my parents divorced. In the midst of all of that, the Muggle media treated me as if I were a commodity, a product to be traded and my misery to be exploited. As an adult, I have a choice, and have made the decision to not place myself into any situation where I would feel as if I am not treated as a human being.

I realise that it is not the intention of those who have put this auction together, but I need to make the best situation for myself. I will be making a comparable donation to the children's home, and one in my daughter's name.

Merlin, it's quiet and lonely here tonight. I very nearly popped a Wiggles DVD in, just to feel normal.

I need to thank those who have given me unwavering support over the past few weeks as I've tried to process what can only be described as an idea not fully thought out by Meitzer Publishing. It is my hope that they will listen to what you have said, and not have this book written or published.

[warded private]
So, Chris and I have decided that we'll start Heidi on half-days at school on the 13th. We'll both take her that day, and then from then on he'll take her Mondays and then I'll take her the other days, and he'll pick her up on Fridays.

I reckon I'm becoming better at accepting it. It's still difficult, though.

And... still nothing from my solicitor. I'm going to assume that there is really nothing to be done and I'll have to write the damned book.
[end ward]

I don't read the Prophet much anymore, but I had the wireless on today and apparently they're saying that London shouldn't host the Olympics in 2012. That's rubbish. It'll be absolutely brilliant to have them here. Don't they realise that it doesn't have to be burning hot to do those sports? Especially the outdoors ones; it can only be better for the athletes if they aren't performing in too-hot conditions.

Good Lord, this weekend has been a long one - except for the bits where Megan was able to take my mind off of a few things. Thanks, Meg, you're a good friend. And, I'm jealous of your new boots. Why didn't they have them in MY size, too?

[Warded Private]

Finally. Tonight Heidi comes home. It was a little unreal how much I missed her, but Chris had her phone me last night and she was having so much fun and Chris said she was fine and only wet the bed a LITTLE.

It's like she doesn't need me.

No. That's dumb. She needs me. She just needs her dad, too. And since Chris and Katey are going to have a baby, it's important that Heidi see everyone as family.

But, God I miss her.

The meeting with Harry Potter wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. He actually laughed, although I wasn't trying to be funny when I said that about the puppies and ponies. They're not dumb, except when they're in a book together and everything is just too damn cute for words that it makes you want to vomit.

Also, he is sort of cute.

[End Ward]

Right, off to the shops before Poppet comes back from her dad's. Missed her this weekend. I'm thinking soup for dinner. Maybe potato leek.

I like snow. When I was in school, I loved it when it would snow, and I made sure to sit by the window during History of Magic just so I could watch it, as that was the only class in which I could get away with not paying attention to lecture. I live in London, now, and snow is rare, especially the amount of snow that falls at Hogwarts.

Perhaps I should move north; I want Heidi to grow up with memories of hot chocolate on snowy days, of going out to play in it.

[Warded Private]

There is a time and a place for everything, and I believe it is entirely too early for this. My publisher wants a book, for children, on the war. They say that they believe people want their children to know what happened, because it was an important time in history, et cetera, et cetera.

I disagree. It's too early, and all of those memories are still too close for too many. It's not time yet. But, they have me on a contract. And I, naturally, was an idiot and let them add in that they, at any time, can request a book written by me, to fulfill the terms of this contract.

When I fulfill those terms, the next one will contain no such thing.

So later this week, I get to talk to Harry Potter, because apparently they thought it would be BRILLIANT to get his own personal account of the tale, watered down for children, naturally.

[/Ward]

[Warded to Dean Thomas]

I wanted to give you a head's up, but I just got notice that Meitzer House is pulling that damned codicil to have me write a book of their choosing. They've chosen to have me write a book on the war. It's completely too soon and I wish they would wait.

[/Ward]